Monday, August 31, 2009

What do Women Really Want?


As I was driving home after wrapping up our message Sunday on the "Biblical Blueprint for Wives" from Ephesians 5, I was wondering what the ladies were thinking (with or without husbands)on their trip home as they considered God's call on their lives to submit, or lovingly come under the leadership or God-ordained authority of their husbands.

Then, I got to thinking about the question 'what women really want' and I was reminded of the weekend struggles my wife Mary and I have on dining out decisions. I try to love her and give her the option to choose where we take the kids to eat Friday night or after church, and she proceeds to hem and haw and then throws this huge responsibility back in my lap and the verbal match like ping-pong goes on and on until I finally take hold of the issue and make the call on where we go. And then it dawned on me....despite what Eve pulled on Adam in Genesis 3, what many women want- particularly God-fearing Christian wives, is that their husbands make the decision. I've even heard feminists agree on this. Most women have an innate desire to be led by, protected and provided for by the stronger vessel.

Courtney Ressig from the Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood wrote that women should be encouraging the men in their lives to take on this biblical mantle of leadership in the home. Since I can confirm that a man desires respect and admiration even more than sex, a Christian wife has a unique opportunity to exhort their husbands to be the leader that God has called them to be in their family. Not only should our ladies strive to encourage their husbands to be the leader God wants, but they must prayerfully be patient with those who struggle to do so. Ladies , 1 Peter 3:1 tells us as we mentioned Sunday that we can be "without a word, won by the conduct of our wives." That idea excludes the notion of "nagging" which is desirious to some women and is akin to sharing a needle with Keith Richards for the men.

Encouragement is the key sisters. When your husband loves you and leads a devotion for your family in the home- thank him. In fact feel free to suggest that he do just that and how wonderful that would be - as a couple or for the family with children if he's not doing so already. Further, it won't hurt to let him know periodically that you thank God for him and for trying to be the man that he can be. That said women, understand that your hubbies will dissapoint you. They are to imitate Christ but are not. Your husband is to love you as Christ loves the church (the subject of our next message at C.C.C.) - but too often will not. Have real expectations and remember that his sanctification like yours is a process. So eat lots of Bible, pray often, be filled with the Spirit and lovingly and submissively encourage him and hope in Christ and ask that He would lead your fallen-man to be the leader you and God want him to be.

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Key to a Biblical Marriage is ...


Promise Keeping, Pastor Bernie Diaz
Americans have a literal love/hate relationship with marriage which I think somewhat parallels our relationship with God Himself. On the one-hand, the U.S. has the highest divorce rate in the world, and on the other hand, our rates of remarriage and multiple marriages contribute to those numbers and to the fact that American kids are more likely to live in a household with a revolving casts of parents than anyother child from any other developed country. As an example, Newsweek reports that 40% of American children born into a two-parent family experience a break-up of that family by the time they turn 15, compared to 30% for Swedes.

Why? What is the common denominator for our infidelity with marriage and with God? In a word- committment. Since everyone today is looking for the proverbial quick-fix, hence the phenomena of pills for whatever ails our bodies and minds, we should ask: 'Is there such a silver-bullet or magic pill to fix what ails the family today in general and its foundation -marriage in particular?' I would say yes. As we turn to the maker's manual- the Bible, as the blueprint for marriage and families, and as we began Sunday ('All in the Family') to consider that God is the maker of marriage and of it's methods (Genesis 2:18-24), we should remind ourselves that the key to a successful and godly marriage from a theological AND practical standpoint comes down to the word covenant, or if you prefer that synonym, committment.

A covenant biblically, is an agreement between two parties that involve promises on the part of each one. God has made such covenants or agreements in the past with Noah, Abraham, Moses, David and the new covenant (or testament) with mankind, which is based on the death and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ, resulting in the formation of what we know as the church. And as Paul wrote the church in Ephesians 5, that covenant between Christ the bridegroom and His bride the church, is irrevocable - it cannot be broken. No matter how ugly, apathetic and unloving His church might be, Christ is always faithful to her, sanctifying her and preparing her for a grand reunion. Guess what? Marriage between men and women on earth are to serve as the illustration or picture of what Paul calls that same "great mystery (Eph. 5:32)," the wedding between Christ and His church. Covenant and committment - the taking seriously and keeping of wedding vows and promises is actually the magic pill- the key to lasting and biblical marriages.

If you're born-again and married, think twice the next time you're frustrated by your spouse and plan on leaving or splitting your family. Think about whether or not your Lord and Savior would leave you high and dry and without His family every time we hurt Him, reject Him and are unworthy of His forgiveness and then think about whether or not we should do the same. Such a mind-set could revolutionize marriages and families.

Friday, August 21, 2009

It's All in the Family


Who can ever forget the immortal words of British Prime Minister Winston Churchill: " We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills." Does this sounds like many of your family vacations?

What is it about our families? We love one another and we drive each other crazy at the same time. A great illustration of that is my all-time favorite TV show, "All in the Family," which featured love, loyalty, dysfunction and feuds from that adorable dingbat Edith Bunker, her irritating and obnoxious (and biblically misquoting) husband Archie to their children; Gloria, the emotional feminist and the ultra-liberal and intellectual son-in-law Mike "Meathead" Stivic. Who was or is the meathead or dingbat of your family? Can it be us?

A better question is who or what do you turn to resolve your family feuds? How do you resolve conflicts, understanding that Archie Bunker is not the paragon of conflict resolution? If you've inhereted dysfunction and conflict as a family trait, then yes your hill may be higher to climb. What is your roadmap then to success? Surpise, I take you to the maker's manual- the Word of God for the blueprint of a successful family- beginning with the foundation of that structure- marriage. Proverbs 1 tells us that we are to "hear our father's instruction and forsake not our mother's teaching (Pro. 1:8-9)," which begin with the fear and understanding of the LORD.

If 2 Tim. 3:16-17 is again true, and the Bible is all-sufficient and all-authoritative ( 'that the man of God would be perfect or complete for every good work'), then it is a sufficient and profitable manual for the family and it's success.