Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Is There Hope for the American Marriage?


Why Marriage Matters...

The recent fall from grace of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, a "family-values conservative," (a la Jon and Kate) sent TIME magazine scurrying to explain the pitfalls and consequences of infidelity and broken-marriages and homes in the U.S.A.

What is particularly hurtful in this latest escapade of celebrity sin, was Sanford's professed allegiance to the faith and a political platform built on that very same faith, which he undermined after having ilicit emails discovered by a local newspaper. TIME picked up on Sanford's self-admission that he had "..broken God's law,' a sentiment that served only to emphasize the narcissism that had got him in trouble. Wrestling with God's law had apparently been the subject of many sessions of his Bible-study group, a seminar that may have spent a little too much time on the Song of Solomon." As we know, virtually nothing hurts the cause of Christ more than hypocrisy - particularly from those in the public eye.

However, TIME's article does remind us of at least two basic maxims or lessons from infidelity in matrimony: (1) "a lasting covenant between a man and woman can be a vehicle for the nurture and protection of each other, the one reliable shelter in an uncaring world- or it can be a matchless tool for the infliction of suffering on the people you supposedly love above all others, most of all on your children." The article confirms the long-held, common-sense notion that divorce breaks homes by breaking hearts , which then breaks communities and nations - to say nothing of the fact that divorce breaks the heart of God (Malachi 2:16) (2) The definitive reason for, or the root cause of broken families- adultry and divorce more specifically, stems from the sin of selfishness- or better yet, self-gratification. TIME framed that issue well when the author asked, "What is the purpose of marriage? Is it- given the game-changing realities of birth control, female equality and the fact that motherhood outside of marriage is no longer stigmatized - simply an institution that has the capacity to increase the pleasure of the adults that enter into it?"

God's biblical answer to the question is manifold. The good news is that God is a God of second or third or many chances. God heals divorcees in Christ and can give them another shot at a godly family- blended or otherwise. How then do we live and breathe in marriage in lieu of all of the above? It's simple enough to understand- forget changing your spouse- work on yourself. Put your spouse's interests and those of your family's first. 1 Pet. 3:1-2 directs wives to "accept the authority of their husbands, even those who refuse to aqccept the Good News. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won by watching your pure, godly behavior (New Living Translation)." Within the same chapter, God through the apostle, admonishes husbands to "...give honor to your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together." In fact, the verse (1 Pet. 3:7) warns husbands that God will not "hear" or answer their prayers if they don't treat their wives as they should. What's the common thread then? Obviously, self-sacrifical love- just like God and Christ's on Calvary (John 3:16).

As one marriage counselor noted, "Maybe the best prevention for an affair outside marriage is to plan one with the man or woman we're married to."

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